i fucking died: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmkqmTwwCtE&NR=1

die with your boots on

i had tons of fun yesterday. i got up before 8am, ate breakfast, had my coffee (tried to wake up) and then jogged to meet with nora at myrtsi. it took us ages to find the swimming hall, but we got there in the end. it was wonderful to be in water again. i have strong muscles, but damn, they're definitely not built for swimming. need to start going swimming at least once a week. even thought it seems that the swimming did a little downfall for my lungs, i.e. my coughing is worse again... shit. but still !
today i have a short shift at work, just 4,25 hrs. tomorrow 8 hrs and saturday 9. and saturday i'm jumping in a bus to kotka. can't wait to get to see fillyjay and all the animals again <3 and i hope that this time i'll be able to meet people longer than just an hour before i leave back...
that just means there's tons to do before i leave. clean the ratties' cage etc.
sometimes i just wish so much that i could turn back time. not really, but still.

this is my one and only voice, so listen close

the weather outside is deadly beautiful and i need to go work. yay. need to write down abt my saturday more when i get home again. that day was just HORRIBLE at work. yah.

we're gonna make such fools of ourselves

how can i decide what's right?
when you're clouding up my mind
can't win your losing fight all the time
not gonna ever own what's mine
when you're always taking sides
you wont take away my pride
no not this time
not this time

how did we get here?
i use to know you so well
how did we get here?
well, i think i know

the truth is hiding in your eyes
and its hanging on your tongue
just boiling in my blood,
but you think that i can't see
what kind of man that you are
if you're a man at all
well, i will figure this one out on my own
(i'm screaming "i love you so..." but my thoughts you can't decode)

how did we get here?
i use to know you so well
how did we get here?
well, i think i know

do you see what we've done?
we're gonna make such fools of ourselves
do you see what we've done?
we're gonna make such fools of ourselves

how did we get here?
i use to know you so well
how did we get here?
well, i use to know you so well

i think i know
i think i know
there is something that i see in you
it might kill me i want it to be true

the weather outside is so fucking beautiful. and soon i need to dive in the batcave.
i miss last summer. and the summer before that. i miss the times when it was easy and simple. just me and couple of friends, drinking and smoking, hanging out, enjoying our selves. and then again i don't want anything from the times that are already gone. i want to look up and smile, go forward feeling no regrets and live.
i'm waiting for the summer to come. hope it brings great times.

i have had this sort of vision of the future in a dream, several times. i don't know if it means anything, but it feels right. i just hope that sometimes dreams would just fucking come true. too bad they usually don't.

pull the trigger if you gonna, we all know that you wanna

WHY oh WHY must i have super cute guy as my work mate ? and WHY oh WHY must i have this ohsofucking gorgeous guy working as a security guard at the same place ? come on, my genes are killing me here. this could also be understood as me having a droolfest at work. that was yesterday.
yesterday i felt like doing something, going somewhere so bad. hanged with n at our place for some hours, but in the end i started to feel choked, i needed to be alone for a while. it didn't really help too much, but it was something i needed. i spent few hours watching stuff from rock 'n roll hall of fame ceremony. fucking damn, jason newsted still looks like a million bucks. and speeches all the met guys held there were so nice (except rob, i didn't watch that part because well, i don't care) and touching... booh. booh. i wanna go to san fran..........
today i have been just lagging around and talking to some nerd in msn. he found me in myspace and ugh. i tell ya, he ain't hot. not by a long shot. but he's amusing to talk to.
now nora came and we're off to jump in the woods ! been dying to do that for ages. the weather ain't the beset possible, but who cares !

i'm the 45 that's in your mouth, i'm a dirty, dirty whore

oh boy what wonderful hmm 4 days i've had. last wednesday i went straight from stables to nora's place and after that i've been with her almost nonstop, excluding abt 7 hrs on thursday when i had work. after work i just quickly visited home, cleaned the ratties, took a shower and was off again. damn, i haven't been so drunk in fucking ages. literally shitfaced. and that was fucking great. yesterday was a hangover day, not surprising really. still was a great day, we just lagged and ate like pigs. that (eating like pigs) was something we also started on wednesday. fattyfattylardyfood. fucking good, and needed, because that's something we're not gonna be able to do in a very very fucking long time. drinking's also that kind of thing. i think i'm gonna cut way back on my drinking from now on. and really consider atleast smoking less. trying to be a little healthier.
the weather outside is deadly beautiful and i so fucking dun want to go to the batcave (as me & big D started calling our work place some unholy saturday or something...). days like this should be spent outdoors. enjoying the sun and the summery feel in the air. i hope tomorrow brings another beautiful day.
now down some coffee, and off i go.

there's a dirty needle in your child, haha, stick me

hi just popping by to say that SUMMER COME FUCKING FASTER. i'm on a huge gig mood (shinedown, plz come back guys) and fucking can't wait to see met ! there's girugamesh gig abt a month from now, but i don't think that 'll help me with my gig fever, because well i'm a bit over j-bands. and the fans, oh the fucking disgusting fans. i'll just have to get drunk for that gig. but ! anygays. summer. drinking. warm. sun. outdoors. friends. getting drunk. gigs.

and i wanna go to the u.s. bay area, it's fucking calling me so bad. neone wanna biff me few 1000 euros.

i'm for law 'n order, the way that it should be

suddenly i feel like the bad person. ok, there's a point, but fuck.
everything i say and/or do seems eventually be taken as something else. fuck, really.
and i'm just trying to lay it low for now.
i fucking wanna ditch this country for a while. i really do.

time your riddles right and make a point that has no sense

once again, like so many times in the past, i had something i really wanted to write down here, but it escapes my mind now. i should probably be sleeping already. but i don't quite feel like doing so.

ps. why must all the people i know be somehow connected to eachother. fucking inbred society.

what started out to be a joke, the law don't understand

my right wrist has been killing me this week. you know, hurting like hell.
today i'm headed back home again. it's been nice being here. i miss these places so much sometimes. i don't know, i just feel i will be returning here at some point. that maybe in two years, or a decade. i don't know. but i do know that i've missed the stables, people, animals, the familiar forest trails with my dear. those are something i can't quite find anywhere else. i'm not making much sense right now, but yeah.
now i need my dosage of caffeine in the form of euroshopper energydrink. then, off i go.