my whole body hurts, i'm coughing so hard i can't even sleep and there's nothing wrong with me =) thank you finnish healthcare. you suck. apparently it's nothing if a person can't breath properly, pulse is racing over hundred per minute... according to that i'm just imagining this. there's nothing wrong with me. yay. too bad that i know my body, and something's not right now. i need to go and visit the closest health center today. i'm just not sure if it's even open (it says on their doors that they're open 24/7 but they weren't open yesterday, so...) and calling is useless, that only works on weekdays. i seriously don't wanna go back to that same place i was last night. maybe i'll go to maria or something, maybe they'd be a little more fucking interested in the health of someone. ah fuck, this all just makes me feel so paranoid, like if i am really imagining this all :D you know, i HATE going to hospitals and seeing doctors. mainly because it always leads to me trying to fight them to understand that something is wrong. and because it ALWAYS goes like that i usually wait for ages in case the whatever would go away by itself (and usually it works) and only go to see a doctor if i'm really feeling bad. or someone else (usually mom...) beats me to going in. i'm a stubborn bastard, yeah i know, but that's just how i like things. i don't want to ask for help, i absolutely despise being dependant. i have a hate issue here it seems.
i should leave already and try to find a doctor. too bad that search will most likely take me hours and tons of miles... bleaargh.
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