YO! Today I'm heckalot cheerier, even thought I got up at 6:15 am :D Reason: Nora's hereee~~~ I was supposed to be energetic and start cleaning the place up but.... Anygays, vappu seems to be getting better as the day wears on ^^ And tomorrow <3

My last entry was over all negative, so this is one big change: I'm fucking happy inside. Many things led to this and even thought the way things took place could have been different, I'm happy they did happen. Just have to remember still to keep my head leveled. Getting too comfortable too soon doesn't lead to anything good. Been there, done that, and I really don't want to ruin this. Taking things slowly might seem the cowards way, but hey, I care abt this and want this to work. Ho shit I got all negativeyish again :D
Other than being happy and conflicted still, I'm highly waiting for Wednesday. My girls are coming to Kotka for vappu and oh I'm so happyyy~~ Summer is coming. In a way I feel weirdly empty about everything, and it scares me. I'm afraid I will fall again, and this time there will be no strength left to pick me up. Then it's it, nothing left... okay, I get to the negatives again. I should be happy.
More coffee and a cig, those will cheer me up.

I miss something that would turn my life upside down. In a flash. With a fucking bang. I just want to ditch this whole situation I'm forged to call a life now. Just go somewhere and forget about all this shit I have to put up with here. New shit would ofcourse arise, but... who cares ? I hate being lied to, and being treated like fucking air until I suddenly am useful in someway again. How hard is it really to say everything straight to me ? Or is it that it really doesn't matter if my feelings get smashed ? Oh le sigh. Can't be too bothered to care.
Right now I'm setting my head on a mission, to get my abs working and neat. I'm on mah way ! Other than that I guess I'll just be waiting for the summer to come. Summer, I hope, will be good, and full of all things I miss now.

Damn I'm dying for a drink. Should I go to Seurahuone perhaps...