KOHTI TISSIÄ, JA SEN YLI !

@ mims' again :D came here so that anni can sleep (she has to get up something like 4:30 am...), and i didn't feel like sleeping and/or waking up alone and spending big part of tomorrow alone ;__;
what what what to say... hmm, weekend has been quite eventful. in good ways and not so good. can't be bothered (and don't really want to) go on details about everything. i don't even know how some things are going to be from now on. oh le sigh.
blaah. next up is more lagaing front of the telly and wathing this show called 30 days, the "host" dude is going to be a muslim this time for a month XD hopefully it's as interesting as it sounds.

TURPA KII, PÄIN VITTUA, HUI HAI !!

yo. i'm at mims' place, still debating werther or not i should try and get in to that Pride women only party. a part of me is sort of afraid that i'll run into some people from few years back and that can be either good or bad. sigh. so i drink booze and try to think. i'm starting to think that i should atleast go and check if i can get in... agh i hate this.
off to balcony and smoke with mims. and drink. more. blaah.

voi muna

tahon nyt kirjottaa suomeks koska aivot EI TOIMI !

... mie en tiiä ! uskaltauduin viimeinki laittaa viestii raunille, kesti homokauan psyykkaa itteni siihen, koska en vaan KEHTAA 8( plus en mie vittu tiiä haluuko ihmiset et ees tulisin hesaan, kun en oo bilerintamaan tunkees kuitenkaa. mie en tiiä perkele mitää. väyläski asiat vaa oli sellast yhy syyllistävää sävyy ja pilkunnussintaa ko ei ollu vakiotyöntekijät paikal ollenkaa vaa jouduin sokeltaa joillee jotka näin tyylii ekaa kertaa sil konsertti matkal ja ARGH VITTU. sekavaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. mut ainaki tuli selväks et hei mun raha-asiat kusee rankast ja ne tulee vaan kusemaan lisää. siispä... *selaa mollii* JOTAIN KIITOSHH ELÄMÄ.
tahon juua. lagaa mimbsanpimbsan kans telkun ees ja pelaa pleikkaa ja kirjottaa seikkaluu ja lipittää jotaa "limuu" ja röhöttää tyhmille (read: laadukkaille) jutuille. laatu is us. always.
tai ehk oikeesti vaan jään lagaa kotkaa ja vithy homehun palasiks ja löllöilen ympäriinsä. niinku se vihree öggö digimon joka heittelee liilaa paskaa, mikäs se oli, NUMEMON ! joo. miun tulevaisuus. muahaha.

HABL HABL JA MUUTA KAKKAA >8OO

//EDIT: HABL HABL ! keräkkää miulle kolehti et pääsen naistenbileisii ;____; olis ehk just sen verran täpäkkää mut ehk tahdon syädä jotain vkl :D ITKU POTKU RAIVARI.

HABL HABL !

ainii. i present to you: MY FUTURE !

there will be no clapping ! >8O

kuin on oikeesti mahdollista että kahtena päivänä peräkkäin päädyn kalastamaan samaa irti juoksevaa hevosta tallin mailta ???? :D toissapäivänä lulu tuli aidasta läpi kun jätin sen odottamaan että haen ensin vilin ja suvin. sit se paineli mukanamme tallille, onneks seuras ihan rauhallisesti eikä lähten sutii minnekää. ja sit eilen! otin suvin eka sisään kun v+l ei jaksaneet vielä liikkuu toisest päästä laitsaa... ja sit otin vilin kiinni, avasin portin ja koitin nappaa lulua, joka häseltäessään (ahnehtiessaan onko mulla herkkuja..) tökkäs turpansa sähkölankaan ja sai tietysti kamalan paskalaagin ja kiiteli micron ja maijan luokse. ei ees antannu kiinni kun henna koitti tarjota leipää, eeei kun sekin antaa varmasti tällin. nutipäääää. onneks se meni taas nätisti talliin :D SIGH.

okay just had to rant that in finnish, because my verbal expression is very limited right now, i fail.
there's a change i could come to helsinki tomorrow, since on the route to vihti we go along kehä 3 supposedly, so when we're like coming back i could jump of the truck and come hang there. just hang because i definitely have no money to party. just don't know if i want to ruin my girl's weekend like that. heck i don't even know would she choose party over me :DD fuck this.

i'm bloated like no tomorrow. the painkillers i got from the doc on monday, well i seem to be allergic to them or something, because the fluids started gathering on my body during already the first night ! yuckh. sucks, because i'd really need some painkillers. my hand is hurting like hell all the time and it's swollen... stoopid.
what else... hmm, i wonder should this blog be one of limited viewing... nah too lazy. to care. blah.
gonna go and run around the city for a few hours today, gotta get some things arranged.
AND FUCK I STILL DON'T KNOW IF I'LL SELL THE MIYAVI TICKET OR NOT !!!!!!!!!!!!! >___<

.... sigh.

GOD MONEY !

blah blah money blah blah blah hate blah blöäääääärgh.

i am going to london in october. i just decided it yesterday. especially if the leben vs. pisbing (whateveritwas) match is on. UFC is coming to looondoooon ! and i'm going toooooo ! i have to ! gyarh.
agreed to go and visit kotka tkd next week, probably thursday. need to give janne back his battlestar galactica dvds, i've had them like... few years XD fail. maybe i'll get to work out some. and break my self. woohoo !

going to stables today, ride with filly<3 yesterday it was lulubell. suvela is leaving to Vihti on friday. i might be going with rauni on that trip... we shall see.

DAMN DENTIST fucked up my jaw. it hurts all the time and the left side of my jaw is swollen. fucking hell. i should call and try to get a doctor's appointment, to get my back, leg and skin checked. sucks. tired. hurting. blaeaeergh. and now my phone is fucking with me too. am trying desperately to add some music and this damn system just keeps crashing. fuck fucketi fuck fuck fuck.
gotta jet. bus leaves in 13 mins... shit.

//EDIT: whoops. didn't leave after all. clock beat me, plus got some of the shait arranged via cell. going tomorrow. sigh.
now am busy eating myself into a lardblob and then... working ouuut.

and it's poisoning the best in me

clearly i have to stop thinking and writing. does good to my head at the moment, but afterwards... fuck this.

like gunshots heard against a silent night

Some how I feel like screaming my lungs out, so hard that my head would explode. I feel like something is pressing my chest in and I can hardly breathe and my head spins. Why am I always so damn afraid of getting cheated ?? Well, it's happened before, so I seem to find it impossible to trust that it won't happen again. And there's really no-one I can talk with about this, because well, "news" travel fast and blaaah fuck.
Plus it annoys me that it seems I HAVE TO BE the one to bring myself completely down and into huge financial problems if I want to see people who are dear to me. It feels like no-one else really wants to spend that much money on seeing me. Funny. Not really. Hurting, yes. Just my mind ? Maybe.

So I'm off the cemetery duty. For at least 2 weeks now. My hand is failing me again. And my back. Fucking hell. So much for getting some order in my life.

Damnit I'm tempted not to post this at all or just post a super edited version, because I know that well... sigh.

Gonna take a shower and watch The Ultimate Fighter. My only joys lol.

i can't keep telling myself what i want to hear
i can't just close my eyes

i know that
its killing me
and its poisoning the best in me
what i see i don't want to believe
so let me tell you more
about the lies i lead

Dundundun~~ I'm watching The Ultimate Fighter season one and drinking skumppa ! Yay.
The Midsummer's was quite uneventful because the weather was JUST like it should every year: it rained. A fucking lot. So we lagaed in front of the tv and drank some. And got tired and went to bed 1 am something :D Or tried, because Annika decided she needed to start making drunken calls to Saana, over an over again even thought she didn't answer even once. So the she makes Susanna call ME, and I had to really fight not to be really rude :D Damnit I was trying to sleep ! GAH !!!

Ah life is happyyyyyyy. Not. Ok well probably yeah. Damnit that Saana left, today it's real wonderful weather and so so so so on ! And Anni is trying to chew my arm off.......................................................................

Yap yap.

Grau 8))

GRAU !
Bohoho my right wrist is swollen. It doesn't like the gardening job. Bleargh.
But yeah, made it through the day again, brought 4 bags of flowers for mom and Anneli (mom's friend) and still need to make a flower... THINGY to put some of the prettiest violets in. Plus I posted the D'espa photobook and got my bro's package of some rockclimbing books from the post office on the same visit. Now I'm cathing my breath (by checking out Leben's and Forrest's myspaces XDD) and waiting for the salmon to get ready in the oven.
Gotta post this:

Chris gets a ton of emails everyday from people asking how he gets in shape for fights, what his workout regimen is like, what kind of diet he follows, etc. So here's a list of the top 10 things that have contributed to Chris' success as a fighter. Enjoy.

1. I like to split up my workouts throughout the day. Drill and work cardio in the morning, and then do hard rounds at night.

2. Switch to light beer.

3. Eat lots of vegetables. Don't eat dairy products. Nuts are good.

4. Don't start drinking beer until after noon.

5. Plyometric exercises are an excellent way to get into fighting shape.

6. Don't have sex at least a week before your fight. Aw who am I kidding...

7. Try to drink at least a gallon of water a day.

8. Line your mouthpiece with chew. This will help it stay in better, and it'll give you that extra boost of energy during your fight. I prefer Copenhagen.

9. Before your fight, shave your entire body and cover yourself with lotion. This will help you slip out of submissions easier.

10. Don't shower the day before your fight. On second thought, make it 3 days. Don't brush your teeth, either.

Now I'm not going to guarantee that they will work for everyone, but hopefully you found these tips useful enough.

Hohoho he's brilliant <3 2. Switch to light beer. XD Chris, you're so my man ! Maybe I should try his advices xD Maybe I could get in shape ! Lol.

A-L-S-O !
Anni is coming later today. Saana-chan tomorrow. And vi ska reub and partee the Midsummer's eve ! Reub reub reub. Dancing also is calling me. Hmmm. We shall see. I believe that in few hours from now I'm going to be ready to pass out. Lack of sleep catches me really fast. We shall see.

A-L-S-O !
Atreyu ! Really, I've been listening to nothing else but Atreyu during the past few days. Need to put some more their stuff on my phone, I've only got like 6 songs or so, and listening to those for 5 hours does get kinda onesided after a while. Thought I'll never get tired to songs like Honor, Becoming the bull, Epic (faith no more cover). But I need moreeee !

A-L-S-O !
I hate Hiroto for tartuttaing this stupid thing to me XD

Yeah. Nothing else for now.

Leben<3

".. and I'm like "that's cool". "

Just one thing: Forrest <3 Goddamnit how can a guy be so damn... no well rento, laid back, funny, hot, everything ??? And he's successful, that usually does things to people, but not him. Agh this kills meeeeeeeeeeeeeee ! Wanna go and hit the octacon in MMA womens thingy. Train train train train.
Oh and of course I gotta mention Chris Leben. Damn he's gotten hot since TUF season 1. Ok IMO he was fucking gorgeous, sorta symppis, cute all that jazz already then but wow he's HOTTTTT with gazillion t's and in letter the size of fucking globe. Grau.
Damn I must be horny as hell subconsciously or something because duh, it's not like me to kuolail some men this much usually :D GODDAMNIT WHERE'S MY MAN ??? Chriiiiiiis ?!?! Wanna trade Hawaii for Finland or send me a ticket to get there ??? Forreeeeest ???? Wanna ditch your bitch Jaime and ummm... yeah ?????? *rollllll* XD
Ok I think I'm going crazy or something. Nothing new, is there ?

Oh yeah, my work sucks. I already find myself hating flowers with a passion. After I end this (i.e. my head says poof or my back stops co-operating, which has already started...) I fucking never wanna see flowers again XD Or cemeteries. No thank you.

And just to flood the page width or something, a pic of Forrest !

Oh dear, it's not a flooder after all. Forrest on the right, Stephan Bonnar on the left. TUF season 1 Light Heavy Weight finalists ^^ Grau.

Now I really need to stop typing here. Bunch of crap, nothing else !

Honestly WTFLOL ?

Umm... why does it feel like no matter what I say and to who, it still travels to everyone's ears ? Really.
But yeah. Had my first episode of cemetery joobb and it was k. If we ofcourse don't count the fact that I have to get up at 5:30 every morning. Not funny. Not even by a longshot :D I was SO dead when I woke up today... but miraculously coffee and the hurried 5 min bikeride there managed to open my eyes ! I know that I'm going to end up hating grass, flowers, tombstones, anything to do with gardening XD Blisters have already appeared on my haaaands~~~
Sigh. Mom and bro are building a flowerholderthingy. Hammering away on the backyard. And I have to start a trip to Turvala, check for letter from the apartment office and bills. Blaegh. Lazyyy. Mims did throw out an idea of getting a little tipsy today... hmmm, fascinating ! Haven't drank anything in like a... week and few days XD I fail. Gonna throw Borgir a message anygays, to see if we'd just taste a little something ^^
2 whole days and then a half till she comes <3

My. Goddamn. Head. FUCKING. HURTS. And I'm fucking tired. And I have to get up fucking early tomorrow. And I feel awfully contradicted and my head is exploding =D How pretty it is outside !

Ok. Earlier today me, mom and doggy went to teh pururata with my youngest brother. Was nice, moving a little and stuff. Took the doggy for a swim too, he was happyy ^^ Mah dogy is so fine<3 Now I'm trying to catch my breath after we (mom and me) came back from Prisma with a huge load of food and stuff. On bikes, oh yay. Heavy stuff. But food<3 Me loves food. And me hates it.
Damn I've been really really thinking about applying for Finnish army. I know it's not likely that I would pass the tests, because my bodeeh is so fucking busted but still. What I lose in body condition I win back in persistence. It would be something I'd really like to do. Oh le sigh. Dreams. What good do they REALLY do ?

Now I shall eat. And get fat for tomorrow so I can scare the shit outta mah girl !

Oh yeah, I took out all my piercings today. This time I plan it to be for good.

CURRAHEE!!!!

Today I read something this one person wrote and it made me feel.. used. Like "oh hay, this is this person and this is this, nice be friends, kay" and now I'm the one who's left out it all. Like I've fallen out of the "importantpersongroup". Good to know u guys are having fun. I don't know. In a way it makes me sad as fuck, and i hate it. On the other hand... I can't care. Be as you are. If you need me, you can always call. But don't trust I'll be there for you again in the ways i've been. Sigh. And Sini if you read this DON'T make assumptions it's abt you or H, it's not :D

On the other hand, good stuff too: I got a harjoittelupaikka from Parikka cemetery, and I'm starting Monday 7 am. It doesn't pay much, only 8 e per day but atleast it's something. Plus I get to use the swimming hall and the gym there for free *__*<3 Trainiiiing~~
Sunday I head to meet my girl at Kaivari. Työkkäri arranges this free concert trip and I'm so going, even for a few hours. Miss my dear already like crazy even thought it hasn't been more than what, 4 days since we parted ? Feels heckalot longer. Thank hide (lol) that she's coming to Kotka on thursday to spend Midsummer's eve with me<3

My boring days have been full of Band of Brothers. I've fallen in love harder than ever with that series :D It's just fucking GOOD damnit ! EASY COMPANYYYY >8OO !!! *hypes*

For now it's me off.

PIRK ULOS.

Herushinki is calling again ^^ !! Today it's the Foam party women only @ DTM and we're going. Too bad that I didn't sleep that well last night, got only about 2 hrs of sleep. I'm gonna die. But I'm going to see mah girl<33 And mah dear friends<3
I think I have some moving ahead. The mould inspector dude visited a while ago. My ap isn't actually covereddin mould, but he still recommended me to change living place and wrote a note to show to my superintendent abt it. Need to visit him when I come back from heslinki. My new ap is required to have a machine controlled airconditioning ! Yah, means it's going to be a newer house. I hope there would be an opening at Takapellontie 17. It looks nice, plus the location is fab. Fabfabfab.

Now, I think need to eat something. Hellu & Sini are at work now I think. Uutu said they'll get the job done by 9:30 and then we go. Laura's coming too. Yap yap. Still need to dig some closets and try to find a pair of little cooler pants than jeans. It's already +18 celcius in shade and I MELT ! *death*