i fucking died: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmkqmTwwCtE&NR=1

i'm the 45 that's in your mouth, i'm a dirty, dirty whore

oh boy what wonderful hmm 4 days i've had. last wednesday i went straight from stables to nora's place and after that i've been with her almost nonstop, excluding abt 7 hrs on thursday when i had work. after work i just quickly visited home, cleaned the ratties, took a shower and was off again. damn, i haven't been so drunk in fucking ages. literally shitfaced. and that was fucking great. yesterday was a hangover day, not surprising really. still was a great day, we just lagged and ate like pigs. that (eating like pigs) was something we also started on wednesday. fattyfattylardyfood. fucking good, and needed, because that's something we're not gonna be able to do in a very very fucking long time. drinking's also that kind of thing. i think i'm gonna cut way back on my drinking from now on. and really consider atleast smoking less. trying to be a little healthier.
the weather outside is deadly beautiful and i so fucking dun want to go to the batcave (as me & big D started calling our work place some unholy saturday or something...). days like this should be spent outdoors. enjoying the sun and the summery feel in the air. i hope tomorrow brings another beautiful day.
now down some coffee, and off i go.

beat that fucking meat boy !

internet crashlanded today i.e. did not work at all. that is, before i moved teh laptop in the livingroom/kitchen (i left music playing while i was out, it wasn't even loud, but you could hear it loud and clear to the stairs.... oops). and tadah, not only all the people walking the stairs have to no longer listen metallica, i also has net ! yay.
i finally got the laundry pass thingy for us today. yay for that too. and now, now i'm contemplating should take the allergytablet or not. i really don't wanna, because then... oh well, i can't really drink. and i wanna drink :D but as i am busy waiting for this bleach to affect my allergy is kinda bothering me... oh fucking well.
hoho media player loves bronski beat *shakes around the room* i'm counting on dtm in this, meaning that i hope they have this song. i'm almost certain they have it. i wanna danceeeee !
hmmm need to wash this shit off my head soon. and then shower and hurry to myrtsi and alko. mah girl wants booze. so me goes and buys some for her. such a fucking nice person i am, true true.
i might need to bleach this lame excuse of hair again later today... it will most likely be orange after this first round is done. and i hate orange. on my head. yeah.

this entry really had no train of thought at all, you know ?

and you're left with just a name

i wish i may
i wish i might
have this wish i wish tonight
i want that star
i want it now
i want it all and i don't care how

careful what you wish
careful what you say
careful what you wish
you may regret it
careful what you wish
you just might get it

then it all crashes down
and you break your crown
and you point your finger
but there's no one around

just want one thing
just to play the king
but the castle's crumbled
and you're left with just a name

where's your crown, King Nothing?
where's your crown?

god how i wish was born earlier. i've missed so much for being so young. a child of the 80s but no memory of the times. wish i was born at least 10 years earlier... heavens or something grant me one wish please ?

EDIT: oh fuck i just finished watching a year and a half in the life of metallica and during the ending credits of part two comes THIS (the quality is crap but you will get the idea) I FUCKING DIED. goddamn lars' got some moves (kirk's not bad either xD) ! i'll never go dancing again ! buahaaaaaaaa. my fucking day just went up in smiles and cracking ! thankyou, idiots XDD

everybody run now, everybody run

this week hasn't been the greatest. i've been feeling very anxious and agitated, and fallen apart nearly. i'm still insulted/pissed/angry about this one thing that was "said" on tuesday. i really have no strength or interest to take that kind of shit. you are not the only one who feel down and has issues, damnit. and you're not the only one who has the right to fall apart sometimes. are you really that selfish that you don't REALLY care about no-one but you ? or do you just not see how you act ? don't think i'd consider even for a moment that keeping you happy would be more important than me. if you can't handle that and get all pissy if this happens, well then all i can say is too bad. i've tolerated this kind of behavior too long and now i'm done. if you think you can just act like that and then after a few days be like it's all k... it just doesn't work like that, you know. the person in question, you know very well who you are. think about it, and when you think you can talk about it like an adult without going defensive and bitchy, then try me.
i wrote a long entry abt how i felt on tuesday, but i chose not to post it. like i chose not to answer that sms. which probably was the best choice, since i was practically fuming. it's just so fucking annoying. maybe i'm just too kind and take too much crap and give people too many chances. and oh fuck, i do know that i am a shitty person most of the time too, but fuck, at least i try to admit it, and change it.

yeah. weekend started fucking well too. our superior came to our bunker when me and tomppa were on a coffee break, told us that he and the guys are leaving now, and oh btw you will only have work next week, after that, sorry. have a nice weekend and all that fucking shit. that really stopped us. rest of the day consisted of swearing, going on a strike (we just sat around and cursed and planned the explosion of the warehouse....) and more swearing. i have a fucking week to find a new job. fuck yeah. talk about giving a notice early enough. i'm so screwed.
oh le sigh.

last night me and my dear went to borgbacken light carnival ^^ it was fun. cost a ton, but it was worth it. i wasted a lot of money on candy but ehehehh that's just something you gotta do when you're at LINTSI right ?? D__D
i think i should change into running clothes and go out. for a few hours atleast. hmm, i'd like to find a new place to run at. i've pretty much been though every part of ruskeasuo and central park. and i definitely am not running on asphalt and/or cityarea. i need the nature. it just seems i'll need to go further than before. maybe take a train and run from some station to some another ? who knows ! the weather is killing good and i'm fat and i've eaten like a pig and i feel disgusting so i need to move. if only the goddamn batteries of the mp3-player would charge themselfs a bit fasteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer. can't go running without music.

i have been DYING for a real rave for about a week now. and it REALLY doesn't help that i'm listening to tiësto and stuff like that xD shit, why isn't there anything super interesting and (preferably) cheap on klubitus....

in the sudden rain, although you stop again, you still believe in me

i am fucking coming to herushinki on sunday and starting the job on monday. holy shit. things are moving so fast P___P i was thinking that the job would possibly start on the 25th earliest .D not that i'm complaining too much, just need to try and be extra good and efficient on monday and wednesday. monday it's GB Gym martial arts show at 6 pm. bohoho why can't it be 7 pm. and on wednesday my girl lands on the surface of finland 6:10 pm. gyahaha. times times times. oh shit i think i'll be SO fucking beat after the first week 8D thank heavens i have aiski-shi as my sensei there ^^ she'll teach me everything i need to know about that job. she better not be quitting there too soon, no leaving me alone >8( BUT WORK MEANS MONEY AND IN THIS CASE IT MEANS LOTS OF MONEY. just need to check my taxes. the percent and all, i really have no idea at all how that works. i hope i won't have to make too many calls and fill too much papers. damn i hate papers. i hate byrocracy (or how the fuck you spell it dun care). ah shit i can't find that tax paper. shit. gotta search hard. tomorrow's going to be hectic. gotta run to a office after office. shit. shit. shit. AND FUCK YEAH XDDDDDDDDD

okay. i'm shaking. you guys should have seen me when aiski-shi called me. i was fucking sparkling :DD this silly grin still finds it's way to my face. god i love that girl SO MUCH !

today still to stables, ride with lulubell. maybe some dressage. hopefully that biatch won't start jumping on my face, i don't want anything to ruin my mood now that it's up for a change ^^

oh yeah, me and marji kinda agreed that we're going to go and shake our asses next weeks weekend. partyyyyy it is y/y ? maybe xD