die with your boots on

i had tons of fun yesterday. i got up before 8am, ate breakfast, had my coffee (tried to wake up) and then jogged to meet with nora at myrtsi. it took us ages to find the swimming hall, but we got there in the end. it was wonderful to be in water again. i have strong muscles, but damn, they're definitely not built for swimming. need to start going swimming at least once a week. even thought it seems that the swimming did a little downfall for my lungs, i.e. my coughing is worse again... shit. but still !
today i have a short shift at work, just 4,25 hrs. tomorrow 8 hrs and saturday 9. and saturday i'm jumping in a bus to kotka. can't wait to get to see fillyjay and all the animals again <3 and i hope that this time i'll be able to meet people longer than just an hour before i leave back...
that just means there's tons to do before i leave. clean the ratties' cage etc.
sometimes i just wish so much that i could turn back time. not really, but still.

but me, i like sleeping

"it feels so nice to have your girl's warm back against your hurting one" that's something i thought last night when i was really in pain and trying to fall a asleep. she was so warm and nice<3
but still i'm so tired it's not even possible with 10 hrs of sleep. i blame this cough. gotta wake up now, damnit ! i need to be out of the door something 2 pmish. must get to mims's 3pmish. and then we're off to the harborrrr. i wish i had a million to spend, so this cruise wouldn't feel so difficult in a way. i.e. i have to really watch what i buy and eat. damn, i don't even have any kruunor yet. do i need those ? i don't know. on my bank's webpages it says that i can use this card abroad too. it just costs more. so i might not need the kroonorna at all. i don't know yet, must consult mims & juube when i get there. but hey ! i'm finally crossing finland's borders, damnit ! fucking 22 years it took. heheheh.
and damn i had almost forgotten the gig on sunday: shinedown. it was something that was decided really randomly, like: "let's go see shinedown, they have this one good song and that's the only one i've heard. here, listen" "hey, that's really good. yeah, let's go see them!" so nora bought the tickets and we're going. whoops. i still haven't heard more music from them than this one album, but it's good, so the gig must be good too :D the talk abt shinedown says that they're a great live band, so i'm counting on that. too bad that the volbeat gigs are sold out (i think?), they would've been another band i'd be interested in seeing live.
fuck i should jump up offa mah fat ass and pack. clock's ticking illegally fast again today. my bag's going to be so full of meds and stuff like that....

just as soon as i belong, then it's time i disappear

i'm dying for a really dark mood photoshoot. too bad that i'm not looking or feeling too photogenic right now. but still, a "professional" photoshoot would be cool. like makeup and all, lighting and so on. yeah.
what the fuck am i doing awake anyway, i have a job interview in what, 12 hours ? i should go to sleep, and definitely not be sitting here sipping wine (hardy's, it's really not THAT good, gato negro was way better...) and listening to metallica. definitely not xD but since when have i had brains ?
tomorrow, i think, i shall go to some gym and work my ass off. and swimming wouldn't do any harm either. my whole body is sore and stiff, and all this is not because i'd train too much, no no. it's because i have stopped any physical work i was having a routine with... must get back in shape. sometimes i disgust myself so much it hurts. most of the time i just push those thoughts back in my head and focus on something else. too bad that i have way too much time on my hands right now, since i'm still unemployed and well, do basically nothing during my awake hours. this all is really eating away the strength i had managed to gather up. too much, way too much time on my hands, way too much time to think. it's shit, you know ?

MAN do i wish i was born some decade and a half earlier than i was. oh the gorgeous 80s. too bad i'm too young to have lived those years the way i would've liked to.

i need boots.

what's this life for

there are things i should work out today but i really don't feel like it. mostly because i want it to be just us... ah fuck, klock ticks too fast.
but hot damn, i got my work "uniform" today, finally >8DD evening service, thankfuckingyou. maybe if i'll get that contract too soon.
and ogh nora made soooo good food today. foooooooood is good. cheese and all.... mmm.
agh i'm so tired. should roll over and go to sleep. i'm not sure where i'll sleep... yeah.

in a way i just want scream FUCK YOU at the whole world. and then there's this part that wants to lay down and sleep away the days.